In 2016, Claudia Crobatia founded A Course in Dying to expand and publish her research on how death affects us. She combines knowledge of thanatology, funerary studies, and grief counseling. This resulted in a successful international platform for which she has now developed her first online video course as a death awareness coach and offers guidance on confronting your own mortality. At the end of 2020 she founded the Dutch platform Als de dood, where she continues her death awareness mission in her native language. Claudia lives in Amsterdam with her cat Samadhi. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

How did you get inspired to do this work?

I’ve always been fascinated with death. I’ve never been afraid of it or repulsed by it, quite the opposite. From a young age, I remember wondering what it means to be alive and to ultimately have to die? What this end of life would look like and what would happen after death? To me, death is connected to the mystery of life itself, of what it means to be human. The innate curiosity to figure out the answers to these big life questions has always been part of me.

Through the experiences of losing my dad and the death of others, I discovered how taboo the subject of death is in our modern Western society. Death has become a modern taboo, and in my experience, nobody really benefits from this. This inspired me to launch my platform on death awareness, together with my personal belief that death does not have to be this dark cliché. There are so many beautiful sides to the end of life as well, and whatever awaits us after death might also be more beautiful than we can ever imagine. My ultimate motivation is to try and break the taboo on death and the heavy darkness it is so often associated with.

What does “death-positive” mean to you? Do you identify as part of this movement?

Death-positivity stems from the death awareness movement, which I identify with. The death awareness movement originates from the ‘60s and has resulted in thanatology curriculum in universities worldwide, exploring the history of death and our death rituals. Death education itself seeks to break the taboo on death and to inspire people to accept death as a natural part of life. This is the part where my work connects.

As for these terms rubbing people the wrong way, I’ve noticed that a more embracing attitude toward death can rub people the wrong way in general. There are many misconceptions associated with this type of death work. For example, the idea that when one is death-positive or death-aware, one is ready and willing to die immediately, turning against life itself. Or that being death-positive means you have automatically transcended all fear of death. It isn’t that simple and black and white of course. I hope that an open dialogue about these matters will help people acknowledge the subtleties of these perspectives. At its core, I believe that death-positivity and death awareness is about exploring anything that may arise in our relationship with mortality.

As you state, the fear of death is at the core of all our other fears and anxieties. Do you have thoughts on ways that as a society we could reduce our denial and improve our collective death anxiety?

Younger generations are finding new interpretations of older funeral customs, ones that better fit our modern lives. As a society, this is something we could give more attention to. You already see this happening in the death-positivity movement, but it would be nice to accelerate this with help from governments and higher-ups, who could pass bills for new laws that allow us to redesign our deaths. Not just in terms of burial practices like alkaline hydrolysis (aquamation) and human composting, but also in the field of euthanasia and palliative care. Giving people more control and ownership over their death is something that I strongly believe will help reduce the fear of death. 

Death is connected to the mystery of life itself, of what it means to be human.

What is the general reaction to the work you do?

The general reactions to my work are positive, but as my work has gained more attention from the media, I’ve also seen some negative comments. People can be quick to judge based on the way I look combined with the subject of my work. A young blonde woman wearing a black dress holding a human skull in her hands, or posing next to a grave at a cemetery, will apparently trigger some intense comments in some people. Last year, my work was featured in the Dutch news frequently and I got a lot of feedback, which included death threats. The problem with the mainstream media is that sometimes the incentive does seem to be to trigger a strong reaction from the audience. A picture of me with a headline that says, “Claudia designed an online course that will help you die” or a quote like “I’ve had several dates at graveyards” is really just clickbait and causes people to respond without even reading the full article or interview.

And some people get offended when another person speaks about death and how we can deal with it because they take it so personally. Because death is a personal ordeal. And then there’s a relatively young woman telling them she thinks she knows what’s best for them. I believe there is a sense of entitlement involved here that causes some people to feel strongly appalled by my message. I’m not even saying any of these responses are wrong per se. It’s all part of our current way of relating to mortality. Ultimately some of this negativity only underlines the problem that my work revolves around: our denial of death and our collective death anxiety. Regardless of all this, I am grateful for the fact that my work is finally reaching a bigger audience. Even if some responses are not as accepting as I’d wish to see, ultimately it leads people to think about the subject of mortality for a bit, which is all I intended to begin with. 

Why can engaging with death more and increasing our own death awareness improve our lives and society?

It’s simple: we’re all going to die, and so are the people in our lives. The potential problems that can arise from always ignoring death are that it can cause extra shock, trauma, fear, and anxiety when you are ultimately confronted with it. By contemplating mortality and talking openly about death, we allow ourselves to become more familiar with the subject. It can relieve you and your loved ones of a lot of stress. It can result in some very inspiring conversations. It can also help you find your own answers and give you new perspectives on death. Even without being afraid of death, I believe the benefits of contemplating death still apply to everyone.

Ultimately, our thoughts about death shape the way we see life itself. The awareness of death can help you determine what is truly important to you. It can inspire you to finally take action and do the things you keep postponing or even change aspects in your life that do not bring you happiness. Death teaches us the biggest life lessons, and the beauty of this is you can engage with them right now. You don’t have to wait until you’re on your deathbed. In addition to this, death awareness enables us to connect on a deeper level with one another and shows us the value of our connection with the people around us. This in turn is beneficial for our society as a whole, as it enables us to engage in honest dialogue with one another about meaningful subjects, instead of getting stuck in the temporary, exterior side of life.

By contemplating mortality and talking openly about death, we allow ourselves to become more familiar with the subject. It can relieve you and your loved ones of a lot of stress.

Without giving away too much of your course, what is your one favorite tip that you could give to someone with high death anxiety? 

Try to dissect your fear of death. Oftentimes, what we fear most about death is not death itself, but our ideas about death. These ideas are fueled by our human perception of time and our ability to reflect on the past and present and to anticipate the future, just as Ernest Becker stated in his work. Because of this, a lot of our death anxiety is based on scenarios of suffering that we can imagine happening. By taking steps to prevent this suffering, we can minimize our death anxiety. For example, by making medical decisions to limit physical and mental suffering, but also by preparing our funeral and knowing things will be done the way we see fit. Being able to decide for ourselves how we want the end of life to look like, we automatically gain a sense of peace. Perhaps not full transcendence of fear of death, but at the minimum a lesser fear of being helpless.